The Sleazy PUA and the New Breed of Pickup Artist

The Sleazy PUA and the New Breed of Pickup Artist

The Sleazy PUA and the New Breed of Pickup Artist

The pickup artist scene has gotten a bad rap lately. Whether it’s Youtube pranksters that are more in it for the laughs than the girls getting into hot water with their pranks and sparking cries of misogyny and sexual harassment… Or the seduction ebooks being pulled off of Kickstarter for being decried as “rape manuals”… Or just the creepy oldschool PUA guys of yesteryear wearing fuzzy hats and reciting canned lines like freakshow performers… the PUA scene has seriously gotten some bad press lately. And I get it.

The vast majority of pickup artist instructors and gurus teach their students to either overtly or indirectly lie, manipulate, and coerce women into having sex with them. And after their conquest and after scratching another tick mark in their bedpost, these same “pickup artists” kick their partner to the curb and move onto the next one. And then they go online and gloat about their victories in the most vulgar and disrespectful manners possible.

And we’re not supposed to be the bad guys?

I’m not absolving myself of any past guilt either. I got into the pickup artist scene in the stone age, in 2008, just when the first VH1 show was coming out and the conversation between most PUA guys was what opener was best or which version of the fake attraction story about protecting an imaginary stripper girlfriend from her illusory aggressor was optimal for A2. I chose the wrong role models when I got into pickup. People told me that certain things were cool to do – and I did them – and some of those things caused other people pain. Not all of them did, but some of them did. And that wasn’t cool.

They say that karma is a bitch. And whether it was karma or not, the lifestyle of incessant partying and chasing tail eventually led way to addiction, depression, and suicidal ideation – even after “getting the girl”. Not so cool after all, huh? Where were my PUA role models to save me then? That’s right, they were busy wallowing in their own self misery they had created for themselves, covered up by drugs, sex addiction, or lies, and busy figuring out how to get another grand out of their students pockets with their next magic bullet pickup product.

I’m not going to go into the whole story of how I got out of the hellhole I dug for myself – that’s a story for another day – but suffice to say I found things like meditation and sobriety, learned things like compassion and mindfulness, and adopted the 4 values of integrity, honesty, congruence, and presence. And I came out of the other side of that. I sort of can’t even believe where I came from... and I was there myself! So I can’t blame anybody, and I don’t blame anybody for having negative perceptions of a pickup artist.

But I’d like to change that.

I’d like to change that because I think we’re better than that. I’d like to change that because I think this path really is about self development. Yeah, I know we already call it that, but I mean REAL self development. Not bullshit self development, not throwing the phrase “self development” around to hide true intentions of strong-arming women or to earn a slot in a Barnes and Nobles that was previously off limits to us. I mean becoming a better man. For real. Stepping into integrity, honesty, congruence, and presence. And it all comes down to ATTITUDE.

The funny thing is, most of the outer techniques we use to meet women don’t change. We still have to go up to her, we still have to start a conversation, and we still have to build attraction and relate to her. The difference, then, must be in the attitude. It must be in the intention to provide value to the world. To provide a genuinely positive experience free of manipulation and coercion. To provide a platform for connection. To honor our true desires as men and to connect those to the deepest yearnings of women. And to do so from a place of positivity and “world building force” rather then negativity and destructive force.

I’m calling on each and every PUA and pickup artist to engage in a shift of attitude as it comes to meeting women. To go from being on a conquest to creating an experience. To step into integrity, honesty, congruence, and presence. To become your best self – to REALLY become your best self - not just have it be some bullshit line you say to a girl to sleep with her and then append onto the end of another degrading field report. To become the best man you can be, to own it completely, and to truly share that gift with the world.

Women will love you for this. They’ll want you just as much – fuck, they’ll want you more because of it. They’ll respect you more because of it. You’ll be giving them exactly what they want. A strong, congruent man who knows who he is and knows what he wants. You can even be the biggest playboy if you want – as long as you’re congruent with it and honest about it. It’s OK. You can be yourself. You can be who you really are. You can let your guard down. You can drop the act now. You can be real now. It’s what the world wants. It’s what the world needs. And it’s what you need. Step up to the plate and step into your power as we collectively create the new breed of pickup artist.

Till next time,

Josh Maverick

P.S.  To learn more about becoming your best self and presenting that best self to women using the 4 key values of honesty, integrity, congruence, and presence, check out our online training program.

Comments

  1. Well said Josh.

  2. It’s refreshing to hear about guys pull themselves out of the “fog” that pickup can create. So thank you for sharing a part of your story, Mav.

    Z

  3. Bang on, Josh. David D later in his PUA coaching career would focus on more what he calls inner game, or getting your sh*t together. Add to that honest and authenticity, and you have a much better recipe for getting the girl you want. You may not shag as many girls, but the relationships you do develop will be much higher quality. I say this from experience.

    • Well said my friend! I shifted to quality over quantity a long time ago and never looked back 🙂

      In reality it is the spiritual progress of the soul that is the best part, but that’s going even deeper down the rabbit hole now isn’t it 😉

  4. Maybe since I’ve only run around with Wellesley-grad band-geek MENSA babes, I’ve YET to meet any chicken-heads who would actually fall for the greasy PUA tactics I’ve read about since the 90’s (yes I remember Ross Jeffries). I can’t believe that stuff works…because it never did.

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